coordinator

when one enters the “real world” it will soon become clear that coordinator is a synonym for “office b-tch” aka lowest on the totem pole or orginizational chart.
brittany: hey lauren, heard you just got a job! what’s your t-tle?

lauren: “media coordinator”

brittany: oooo. that sounds fancy!

lauren: well, it f-cking sucks!
coordinators are either useful or useless, and there are two types:

1. in business, the project coordinator is used by management to patch over some type of failing that they encounter in their processes. it is easier for them to simply hire someone with “organizational skills” and charge them with the responsibility of “making sure things get done.”

usually their job devolves into mindless nagging and tedious task management. their nagging also serves to lower worker morale over time, leading to higher employee attrition and fighting in the workplace.

2. in event planning, event coordinators are often extremely necessary, and function as the “glue” that holds an event or project together. they are most necessary in events like concerts or m-ss protests, where a large number of guests must rely on some amount of structure to be in place for their activities.

paradoxically, events that appear to be free-form or anarchistic often require the most coordinating work behind the scenes, because the guests expect everything to “just work” for them when they get there. behind every burning man or bonaroo, there is usually an army of unappreciated, frazzled coordinators working around the clock to make sure that the event goes off without a hitch.
example 1:

sysadmin 1- “did you hear about the new project coordinator that management hired?”
sysadmin 2- “yea, all he does is send people nagging emails and cc’s the boss in all of them, so it looks like he is being productive.”
sysadmin 1- “screw this man, i’m looking for another job.”

example 2:

hippie- “burning man is awesome! it’s proof that thousands of people can just get together and do drugs and it all just works out! yaay anarchism!”
event coordinator- “if you hadn’t shared some of that weed with me, i’d be stabbing you in the face right now…”
(literal)
1.a job given to a guy just for the sake of filling up the vacancy.

(actual)
1.the combination of douche and lame for a person.biggest sucker.
2.a guy who got sand in his v-g-n-.
3.a self-promoting -sshole who contributes nothing to the world.
example 1:
guy1 : “i don’t wanna go to the meeting with the event coordinator,i

just can’t stand him b-tching the whole time”

guy2:”yea,me neither.after all, that is what an event coordinator

for,patronizing-rolls eyes-”

example 2:
“he kept event-coordinating us the whole meeting,duh!”
an employee or contractor with little to zero skill in his or her trade, who is elevated by derelict management to an imaginary position (coordinator). the role usually goes straight to his and her head, and “the coordinator” then proceeds to order other, longer tenured employees around meanwhile destroying integral parts of the company’s infrastructure.
employee1: “hey, what happened to my pc, i can’t login anymore!?”

employee2: “yeah, me neither. no one can. how much you wanna bet the ‘coordinator’ is messing around in the server room again?”

employee1: “man, where do they find these it guys??”
one who finds the location of something. like the longitude and lat-tude of somewhere and possibly the depth.
now that i am a coordinator i can find the coordinates to the buried treasure based on the karmic signs of it’s existance.