Cosmic Jew
cosmic jew, a jew with cosmic powers. he is the result in a unplanned pregancy that a certain mighty being forgot to put on a condom.
cosmic jew can turn water into wine, walk on water, heal others, listen to you telepathicly tell him that he is your savior, and become a zombie. cosmic jew has a very high pain tolerance consdering a bunch of jews nailed him to some wood.
it is important to know that cosmic jew is part cyborg, part ninja, part pirate, part viking, and part zombie. he is also is a black belt in karate and kicks -ss.
moses: “i am a prophet of god, i will teach you his ways.”
cosmic jew :”lol you might be a prophet but i’m his son. suck it.”
person: “jesus is moses v.2.0”
cosmic jew: “brb, being crucified.”
the cooler term for jesus. christians everywhere will try to beat you if you refer to him as such. cosmic jew can walk on water, turn water into wine, disappear and fly. hes much more unique the the other guys.
at age 6, the cosmic jew began questioning if joesph was his real father. whenever he asked this question, joesph would then procede to beat him…violently.
to escape from this he whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirrori if anything he can say this cab is rare
but he thought ‘now forget it’ – ‘yo homes to bel air’
cosmic jew speaking about abortion to one of his followers, “lol push her down the stairs?”
stronge christian: “but cosmic jew, abortion is murder!”
cosmic jew: “stfu.”
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