couch guru
a couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. the couch guru sustains themselves by consuming mountain dew, doritos and p-rn. example: the guy on the couch from half baked.
my couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
Read Also:
- pocket juice
that nut you bust in school cause you played with yourself through your pocket hey did you see john? he was playing with himself and i can see his pocket juice stain.
- Dazien
a sorry -ss f-ckboy who doesn’t respect woman. will ask to see a pic of you, after seeing a pic of you, then will ask to see “more”. which means nudes. if you refuse to let him see “more” he will then get all p-ssed and say you don’t care for him. after you tell […]
- pintapooper
a person who adds to their pintarest while using the restroom. michael is a pintap–per. he goes to the bathroom and i get notifications that he has pinned something to pinterest the entire time he’s on the lou. -pintap–pers are most easily identified between couples.
- I've had better
a response used to indicate that whatever the topic of the question is, the person being asked has had better. this is typically related to coitus or food. he: “wow, that was awesome. was it as good for you as it was for me?” she: “i’ve had better” he: “yikes, ouch” she: “well, peace out”
- cum dumping
c-m dumping is when you do a big j-zzy sh-t after being f-cked in the -rs- by a lot of people. a c-m dump. gotta use the loo, my -rs- is stretched out and im gagging for some c-m dumping. i’ll shift this lot and be ready for another pint up my gary.