Counter-Strike: Global Offensive


a game that doesn’t require any skills to be good at, all you need is a good inventory. you should have one of your several karambit knives equipped at all times and inspect it in game whenever possible to ensure that anybody who is spectating you is aware that you are aware you’re being watched and you are absolutely showing off that extremely pricey knife you own.

your stats are irrelevant when playing this game, most people aren’t even aware that the ‘tab’ key actually has a function in game. it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what ‘eco’ means. fu­ck team work. you have a ‘boom’ awp in your inventory, as long as you have $4750 cash in game you’re buying an awp.

while playing, it’s recommended that you mock anyone who decided to give their nova the ‘walnut’ skin. same goes for people who give their famas the ‘doomkitty’ skin. you will only equip ‘stattrak’ weapons and the first thing you do when you acquire one is go on an idle server and get several hundred kills on afk players in order to pad the stats so you don’t look like a total n00b.

you now have all the knowledge required to start playing cs:go. go forth and procure many skins of great value.
yo bro, check out my new stattrak karambit slaughter that i unboxed on counter-strike: global offensive. it only took me 978 keys!

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