Counterfriends

-ssociating with someone who works behind a counter.

you see them frequently enough, they know your usual, they might know one of your family members or a friend somehow, but you mostly have small talk.

you might have one or two similar interest i.e.:

– you work/worked for the same company
– similar jobs—they work for walgreens, you work for cvs
– you or a sibling might have gone to school with them
– they might have noticed you both buy the same things
– are ordering their fav food/drink
– you have a rocken’ movie/band t-shirt, nice purse
– own a pet
– have kids
– have a car
– etc, whatever, either they’re bored, are hitting on you, have no life, or are trying to sell you something you probably don’t need.

you see them around town and you might nod, have a brief uncomfortable conversation ‘small talk’ (your real friend is probably thinking, ‘who the f-ck’s this guy?’), or you keep walking like you’re too busy to have noticed them.

places you might find counterfriends:

-walgreens, cvs, pharmacies
-starbucks, dunkin dounuts, coffee shops
-mcdonalds, burger king, fast food eateries
-target, walmart, stores
-secretaries, receptionists, -ssistants
-etc, you get the idea. they secretly hate you anyway.

either way, be nice, they’re working joes like you and me, and anyway, they’re working with your food, your information, and they can tell people about all the weird sh-t you buy.
that cute guy justin from walgreens, with the pout and crossed arms? we’re counterfriends.

man! i counted on my counterfriend svenia to save me the last covergirl sparkle-pink #45 lipstick!

my counterfriend mario hooked me up with a great deal. good thing they re-hired him after they caught him stealing pre-paid phones.

oh my god! dee my counterfriend said the head of cosmetics jill ‘margaritaville’ p–ped in the candy aisle last week.

nah, i had my politics fix with my counterfriend tai and the sunday paper this morning.
an alternative and perhaps superior definition is from a business or work setting.

counterfriends are those coworkers or supervisors you secretly hate but who have no idea how you really feel. usually a counterfriend has some obnoxious or dangerous quality, yet for whatever reason, it’s not a good strategy to antagonize them.
to avoid serving prison time for murder, i approach all my counterfriends with misdirection and kindness.
fake friends. people who pretend to be your friends, but are actually back-stabbing nemeses. the word is derived from “counterfeit” and “friends.”
“i thought shakwandra and alvin had my back, until i found out they were both sleeping with my boyfriend.”

“yeah, they’re both a bunch of counterfriends. -ssholes!”
the complete strangers you talk to at a house party who are -ssembled around the neutral, alcohol friendly zone of the kitchen counter. like you, they may know only a few people at the party, including the super-mingling host, and are looking for counterfriends.
if it weren’t for my counterfriends, i would’ve been standing next to the wall for two hours!