Cranksgiving

the grumpy alternative to the traditional ‘merican thanksgiving. in which individuals of various family groups gather together in one general area to over eat, drink, and socialize. the result of this gathering is oftentimes bickering, yelling, and general cr-ssness. overall emotional scarring is the goal.
bill and barb decided to visit their good-for-nothing children for thanksgiving. once they arrived, their spoiled, over-stimulated and under-exercised grandchildren, matt and jennifer greeted them at the door. the kids smirked half–ssed smiles over their blackberrys while texting their incredibly co-dependent friends. meanwhile in the kitchen, the consistency of the gravy was being battled over by patsy, bill and barb’s daughter, and their pea-brained son-in-law steve. making themselves at home bill and barb sat on the couch and tried to make conversation with the technologically dependent children. with no success except for some minor stares and nods, they decided to attempt to try and help with preparation for the afternoon feast. finding refuge in the small confines of the sweltering kitchen, barb felt a renewed sense of family, or was it the grumbling in her abdomen that made her feel the need to -ssist with the baking? once the table to was set, food placed in it’s distinct locations, cell phones turned off, teenagers appropriately managed, and everyone gathered, it was time to chow down. yet again another happy cranksgiving was had by all.