Crash Mat
folded up toilet paper carefully placed in the bowl of the toilet in an attempt to reduce splashback. the effectiveness is dependant on the amount of sheets used and the size of the t-rd or t-rds. this is especially effective when used for a bout of the runs where splashback is inevitable.
alan forgot to lay a crash mat and paid the price…serious splashback.
the act of placing toilet paper in the bowl before taking a potentially large and therefore loud dump. not to be confused with a “poo lasagne” which has a similar process but is purely for comedic effect.
the crashmat has several beneficial properties. it is incredibly useful for:
1. m-ffling the splashing sound of p–p hitting the toilet water
2. preventing skid marks in the bowl
3. ensuring there was paper in the bathroom beforehand
4. aiding the poo on its journey through the u-bend
“i had to lay down a ferocious dump at my in-laws house last night while they were asleep. fortunately i laid down a crashmat so no one heard that bomb when it landed.”
another word for sanitary towel, used during periods.
‘i use crash mats when im on’
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