crusty gers

a “crusty ger” is a phenomenon known to most as what causes the “sleep” or “eye crusties” you may have around your eyes in the morning. “sleep” is a type of “rheum”, which is the name for discharge from your nose, mouth or eyes during sleep as a result of a dust buildup and lack of blinking during sleep. more specifically, eye rheum is known as “gound”.

in recent years the reduction of dust particles in the average home due to improved living conditions has reduced the risk of this “sleep” building up around ones eyes.

however, unfortunately this void in eye -j-c-l-t–n has been replaced by what are known as “crusty gers”. a man from a small town in athy, ireland, known to some as ger kelly (most likely an alias for a much older man from the same area), is considered the main culprit for a resurgence in the occurrence of crusty eyes. he is rumoured to enter the homes of friends and strangers alike in an effort to -j-c-l-t- in their eyes as they sleep. the events are perhaps a religious, meditative or ritualistic act, but are most likely the blind and reckless actions of a bitter old man with a fetish for deranged crime.

recent (blurred) sightings of the suspect have been reported in and around the city of shanghai, china.
“awh man i can barely open my eyes this morning with all this gunk around them!”

“youve got a serious case of the crusty gers dude, you’d wanna get onto interpol about the sh-t! he took out a whole hostel in china last night! the fcker!”
noun informal

crusty gers – (derived from greek: ῥεῦμα, old man kelly-juice, a dried c-m-like substance) is a filthy mucus-like discharge substance found on the eyes typically after sleep. it is thought to be contracted through contact with an elderly kildare man who visits victims during their sleep
‘here, was old man kelly here last night?’

-‘don’t think so man, why?’

‘i’ve just got the nastiest crusty gers in my eyes this morning, he must of got me while i was asleep!’