Cry-Wanker

pathetic excuse for a man. like the above. befriends women but due to screwed perception, mistakes simple friendship for s-xual interest to the point of stalking. this always culminates in sobbing and self love in public places.
‘oh dear, steve disappeared the night before thanksgiving. he was very drunk and upset with his housemate.’

‘yes, for some reason he ran away to that finnish girls house.’
‘really? the one who made it clear she is not interested in him?’

‘that is the one. what’s more she was off banging her f-ck buddy while steve sat outside her house.’

‘dear me! so what was he doing there that long?’
‘playing with himself and sobbing, you know what a cry w-nker he is!’
cry-w-nker: a man who has befriended a large number of attractive women, yet is simply unable to seduce any of them (which in turn causes him to cry whilst masturbating).

also know as ‘a-shoulder-to-cry-on’, cry-w-nkers masquerade as ‘nice-guys’ in order to obtain a female’s trust. as a result, cry-w-nkers are perceived to be non-threatening and are allowed close proximity to their ‘friends’, enabling them to warn said friends of other, more competent males.

cry-w-nkers are often coy and deceptive individuals, who lack the confidence to approach women in an ordinary manor. due to this, they begrudgingly build long-standing friendship with women, in the hope that their targets will one day view them in a s-xual nature. thus, the cry-w-nker able to m-st-rb-t- normally, with a smile upon his face.
cry-w-nker: it should have been meeeeeeeeee.