cryptorchism

an abnormal physical condition, involving the male reproductive glands, or the ‘testes’ if you will. it tends to manifest itself during the first stages of s-xual arousal. the erectile tissue of the p-n-s becomes filled with blood, engorging the p-n-s to a semi-flaccid state. the testes at this point are withdrawn into the body by the arteria testicularis, frustrating the blood absorption process of the p-n-s. the p-n-s violently contracts as a result, contusing itself severely at the base. the spasms will increase until the entire stem of the p-n-s has become purple or black-and-blue in color. despite the excruciating pain, seminal discharge will begin to leak out of the glans (p-n-s tip).

it’s recommended to pull back the testes immediately, despite the debilitating pain, to prevent further complications to the male reproductive organ, such as testicular torsion. (where the blood supply to the t-st-cl- is cut off because of ‘twists’ in the spermatic cord.)
“sorry mate, i’ll be bedridden for the rest of the week. my p-n-s cryptorchismed when i made a play for the ol’ ball-and-chains. she wasn’t too amused… the heartless sow. can’t even walk and the wench insists that i clean out the gutter. you got to love her at least for her l-st of the family spear.”