Dan Kelly

a man, a legend. in short, dan kelly is the epitome of all that is awesome in the world. he was born from the sweat of a hot gay s-x session featuring chuck norris, king leonidas, michael clarke duncan, and julius ceaser, and from the age of 2 months he has had a full beard, reminiscient of some members of zz top or mr. t. he has always been adept at technology and engineering, and he is credited with building the first time machine, and then powering it by stroking his stubbly chin. a phyiscal description of dan kelly will send women (and men) into an -rg-smic fury so powerful it shoots out a sonic boom. long, brown flowing locks adorn a perfectly spherical head with gl-sses so powerful dan kelly can see that you are wearing a thong (and he likes it). to describe his awesomeness in mere words is nothing short of impossible. however, you can continue the legend of dan kelly by making jokes such as “dan kelly naked…(add anything. anything at all)” or just yelling “dan kelly” at p-sserbys will brighten their days. tell these jokes to your friends, have your friends p-ss them on, and appreciate the joy that dan kelly brings to small children on christmas, hannuakuah, easter, and st. patrick’s day.
max: hey, dan kelly naked solving a rubik’s cube in 4 minutes and 40 seconds.
steve: yeah? well, dan kelly naked playing the acoustic guitar in the lunar module.
max: nice. dan kelly naked stacking the chairs in a women’s prison.
steve: d-mn, you’re good.
-also-
tim: hey dan kelly!
dan kelly:shut your godd-mn mouth and go climb a wall of d-cks.
tim: okay…
-finally-
max: dan kelly!!!!!