danger wank

the act of extreme masturbation. you must “knock one out” whilst in close proximity to any of the following; your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, george michael. a person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. -j-c-l-t–n must be reached before your danger w-nk target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. the higher the chances of being discovered with one’s pants down, pulling one’s war face is obviously where the danger comes from. the more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (sn-gg-r). the more dangerous the better. the chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab’s sabre means that you are a pro “danger w-nker.”
“i was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, “mum there’s call the police there’s a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!” as soon as i heard her scream, i dropped my trousers and commenced the danger w-nk. as i heard her stomp up the stairs i knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. unfortunately for me i timed my finish badly. as my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin i chugged all over her. i spent the evening in a&e with concusion. now thats what i call extreme dw”
masturbating, but in such a way that you are very likely to get caught.
increasing the thrill by trying to finish cranking one off before you are caught
geoff, fancying a danger w-nk, stood in his mum’s bathroom,leaving the door open, grasped his throbbing member and shouted “mum!”
to m-st-rb-t- in a place where you are likely to get caught at work, woods, train, cinema, phone box, bus (top deck), park, swimming baths, parked car, waist deep in the sea etc…
hmmm… this beats working, hope n-body can see me…..oops!
practice whereby, while masturbating, one calls attention to oneself with the aim of ‘finishing’ before being caught.
mum? c’mere for a sec
danger w-nk is to masurbate within say a d-ck-length of the enemy. the enemy being someone who’s gonna snap off your bird, break it’s eggs and burn it’s nest, when they catch you.

the object of danger w-nking is to entice yourself into a sense of security, then your climax makes you grunt and boom they’ve seen you.
—get out all your magazines/dvds—
—open your bedroom door—
—unzip your jeans—
—whip out the one-eyed-milk man—
—proceed to danger w-nk—

“mum!!! ….”

you must finish and put everything away by the time she gets to the top of the stairs…

or

on a long journey in the car:
sit in the back, while someone else is in the front
whip out your lolipop, and proceed to w-nk
you must finish without rocking the car off course, atracting attention in the rear-view mirror, or making an audiable sound.

go on, try it….
don’t do it for you, do it for the little guy
m-st-rb-t–n performed under highly perilous situations, usually involving the risk of being caught mid-task. users of the danger w-nk often say that w-nking in these situations hightens the s-xual pleasure.
danger w-nk: “mum come quick ive got something to show u! sh-t, sh-t, sh-t -w-nks- release the beeees!”
while your jerking off, as your about to c-m, shout down for your mother. the real game now begins, a race between you and your mum, you have to c-m, clean up and pull up your pants before she enters the room.

a good timer is asking for a cup of tea before you start
guy 1: “dude, i tried a danger w-nk last night, it went horribly wrong”

guy 2: “ddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

guy 1: “no, it’s ok, she helped finish me off”