dash stroker
a sn-bby individual who determines the quality of an automobile by the quality and texture of its interior plastics with little regard for the package as a whole.
the -ssessment is performed by closing one’s eyes and smoothly running a hand over the length of the dashboard and door panels of a car. the occasional ‘knock’ is performed to test for hollow sp-ces.
frequently these individuals are drivers of german automobiles.
“whoa have you seen the sixth generation jetta? i kinda like it.”
“you clearly have no taste. the dash is hard as a rock. go for its predecessor. that’s when they knew how to make good cars.”
“but its cheaper and has more rear legroom that the old car.”
“i’m sorry were you saying something? i was stroking the 1×2 strip of soft-touch plastic i carry around with me at all times.”
“f–k off dash stroker.”
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