Deep Love

deep love is when you love someone so much you feel the need to know everything about them. everything. their friends, their family, their hobbies, their taste in movies music and more, their every waking move. and to form your life around theirs.

works pretty well as a euphemism for stalking. may not be “stalking” but “getting to know you” if target returns the affection. may become stalking again if target learns the extent of the obsession, gets scared and wants out.

similar to hacking, spy-craft, and corporate information campaigns in method. more well intentioned in intent though often not in effect.
melody: “hey joe, how does mike know that ‘sharron’ person?”
joe: “what do you mean? who is ‘sharron’?”
melody: “well, when i took mike home last night ’cause he was too drunk to drive i checked all his outgoing phone messages.”
joe: “what? that’s stalker-y!”
melody: “you just don’t understand! i’m in love! deep love!”

kevin (watching mike): “what is mike doing?”
gerald (same): “he’s measuring how tall sharon is. again”
kevin (perplexed): “sharon isn’t here and he just got here.”
gerald: “but she was here. he’s comparing her height to the tree. i heard he was making a dress.”
kevin: “what?”
gerald: “deep love, man. deep love.”
kevin: “what!?”