des moines

actually, according to jack kerouac, in his novel, on the road, des moines is home to the most beautiful women in the world. plus it is straight up gangsta!
yo, let’s chill in the dmi (des moines) tonight, b-tch!

des moines skyline
the capital city of iowa, also the largest city in iowa with a metro population of about a half mil (not huge but good sized for the midwest). contrary to popular belief, not a bad city, ranked #4 for quality of life in the us. only really bad part is des moines is over 80% white, so it’s not very “hip.”
dude, are you going to the concert in des moines?
on the north and east side of town you have gangsters, b-ms, homeless etc. it’s just a straight out dangerous place to live. when your walking the streets of the north or east-side you get paranoid that someone might shoot you, or that there might be a b-m asking for money. meanwhile on the west-side (not to be confused with west des moines)it has some of the richest white people of the city but also most of the black population reside here. on the south-side you have mostly white rich people and the majority of the population is of italian descent. you can easily find a pizza parlor around every corner.
des moines east sider: waddup i’m from the east-side.
des moines south sider: oh sh!@#$t! (runs away)

des moines north sider: yo! yo! yo! i’m from the north-side.
des moines west sider: (screams and gets his hi-tech cell phone out and calls the police)
the capital of iowa also with the state’s largest munic-p-l population of roughly 500,000.

the city is intersected by i-80 and i-35 resulting in a steady population growth.

major insurance capital of the world second only to hartford , ct.
forbes magazine ranked des moines 4th in best place for business in 2007.

plays large roll in the presidential nomination with the first caucus and a somewhat kick start to the election process in america.

des moines host 5 semi-pro sports teams: iowa cubs (aaa baseball) iowa stars (ahl) iowa energy (nba development league) des moines menace (pdl soccer) iowa barnstormers (arena football).

also home to the iowa state fair, the united states largest fair= beer, babes, rides, animals, rednecks

city break down

des moines city center:
businesses, with a sudden revival in nightlife and upscale loft style living

east side:
lower cl-ss to government subsidized housing, many drug users and meth labs, “east siders” tend to try to act tough, mostly because they didn’t have parents to raise them correctly. most tend to perform poorly in high school and end up not going to college where they cycle continues over again, drive up liquor stores are common as well as tobacco outlets

north side:
synonymous with the east side except their is a stronger population of african americans

south side:
strong italian population, some areas can be very nice, while some areas can be trailer parks des moines international airport is located on the south side

west side:
suburban living, predominantly white, white collar workers, educated households, nice area where you don’t have to worry about getting beat up by losers who are jealous about your lifestyle
“yo dude i don’t wanna go into des moines, lets just stay in west des moines and clive and party with all the hot b-tches who don’t have babies at the age of 18.”

“yeah dude i don’t wanna go des moines either some east sider will stab us”

“dude wanna go to the fair tonight?”

“sure i heard it was east sider night, we can grab some beers and put on a nice polo shirt and watch them all walk around shirtless with their wife beater shirts tucked into their belts then think to ourselves how happy we are we grew up in west des moines”

the capital of the state of iowa; pr-nounced “duh moyn” not “dez moyn-ez.”
“let’s go to dez moinez”

“huh?”

“oh sorry. i mean, des moines.”
a fair place to live, with mostly good people/friends and gangstas. also the breeding grounds for many famous metal bands, such as slipknot, stone sour, and the murderolls.
i dont live in des moines anymore, but i used to.
background info on the areas;
westside- mostly rich people, b-tchiness awaits as you journey to the “westside” of dmi. the really nice mall, jordan creek is located there and around that area good luck crossing the street, cars don’t stop for anyone. also most of the country clubs are located there and many resturaunts, typically chain resturaunts. red robin, mimi’s cafe, pf changs, bravo, joes crab shack, etc.

southside-history here goes way back! mostly made up of italian descent, you will find the best italian food in dmi here, fyi. it’s typically safe and quiet.

eastside-the great iowa state fair is located here and it’s basically the highlight of eastersiders year, you can park in their yards and they keep the cash..typically $10 per car. generally safe, but it sometimes gets a very bad stench because of the meat packing plants nearby.

northside-not too familar with the northside of dmi, except that they have an awesome haunted house in an old grocery store and smokey d’s is the best bbq in town!

btw we aren’t all farmers here!
frankie: man this fair has the best food!
dino: yeah, dude i know, thats des moines for ya!

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