Designated Drunk

responsible partiers choose a designated driver to drive during a night of debauchery. the designated drunk is chosen by the driver.

the designated drunk -ssumes responsibility for all drink offers given to the driver. the designated drunk will take all offers of toasts, shots, and drinking compet-tions in place of the driver.
random drunk: “hey dude! come have a shot with me!”
designated driver: “gary, you’re dd. take that shot for me.”
gary: “alright.”
the designated drunk helps to occupy the police while his buddies drive away.
a cop was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible dui violations. at closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. finally he started his engine and began to pull away. the cop was waiting for him. as soon as he pulled onto the street, the cop stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.

the results showed a reading of 0.0.
the puzzled cop demanded to know how that could be. the driver replied, “tonight i’m the designated drunk.”
person in a group designated to drink and act like a fool for the immense enjoyment of others.
before the partwii, lauren, the cyborg, bus surfed over to mickey d’s with his brofriend chuck norris and bought a mcg-ngb-ng happy meal with the funds that he jacked from his sugar momma after his disco nap that afternoon. chuck pulled out his phone from his nuthuggers and started s-xting a ginger slice with a tramp stamp that he had been friendly following ever since they shared a game of jager pong. lauren gave chuck the air jerk as he noticed tanasa the grade digger that sat next to him in his art cl-ss. lauren gave her the “let’s just be friends” nod and grabbed his happy meal. as lauren walked outside he saw, bruce, the designated drunk, as he started wailing teenybopper show tunes. bruce was manstrating again and wanted his fix of dr. pepper and big league chew. the night of celebrating lauren’s nomotion had barely even started and already he was knackered.
your buddy who is always the desiganted drunk driver. you all go party and no one is sober but the best drunk driver drives the car home
man your the best drunk driver so we vote your the designated drunk driver of the night
opposite of designated driver. person who is always drunk when going out. there can be more than one, and there usually is. denoted by the abbreviation dd, and can therefore be confused with designated driver.
bri: i’m tired of being the dd all the time.
micah: you mean the designated drunk? you threw up all over yourself last time.