detective

a devilishly handsome individual who investigates and ruthlessly abolishes mysteries of all kinds.
are you wondering how i traced your plastic bouncy ball thievery to the burlington sewer under the bakery, the bakery containing your cousin’s meth lab where he singlehandedly produces all desoxyephedrine sold to the state of vermont, in which a law was p-ssed that specifically outlaws the robbery and transport of plastic bouncy objects and that you are currently in violation of? it is because i am a detective. you shall be fined fifteen dollars.
the person or persons who asks too many questions, wanting to know too much detail, especially when the detail is not necessarily essential to the conversation.
friend: hey fundo, wanna hang out with me and a couple of chicks tonight?
fundo: i can’t. i got a hot date tonight.
friend: what’s her name?
fundo: lacy.
friend: where you taking her?
fundo: d-mn, man. who are you? the f-ckin’ detective?!
a police officer who has surp-ssed his counterparts and has a g-d given gift to do police work. one who drags demons out into the light. there is a reason their badges are gold and not silver, it’s called cunning, slick, smart, dedicated, hard working, inquisitive, tactful, clever, cream of the crop and intimidating, just a few adjectives that describe detectives. a detective is a high caliber police officer -ssigned to investigate all crimes including major crimes, they are “go to” guys who figure things out and solve problems. men of gold
“it wasn’t a regular cop that called me it was a detective!”

“this is serious, call the detectives”

“the detective solved the crime”
verb. to find, and then tell the details of a pick-up strategy that someone posted on an online public forum to, its intended target.

possibly originated on the “misc” bulletin board of the bodybuilding forum.
“man bruh i totally made a thread about whether to pick up this chick who i saw at the gym watching me work my gluts and i all got a message from her talking about that thread! i got detectived! you detectives detectived me! weak bruh.”
a creeper] who walks or rides his bike around town, writing down various crimes other teenagers are doing and reporting them to the police.
detective tommy sutherland was creeping around again.