Diarrhea Scale
a scale used to measure the type of diarrhea you have as well as how painful it is and goes as follows:
(1.0) diarrhea: your typical liquidy poo.
(2.0) explosive diarrhea: liquidy poo under high pressure.
2.5 fiery diarrhea: liquidy poo with a distinct burning sensation.
(3.0) napalm diarrhea: liquidy poo armed with the combined force of explosive diarrhea and the burning sensation of the fiery diarrhea.
(4.0) stomach cramps: those awful pains in your gut that make you feel like you got punched in the b-lls.
(4.5) h-ll: extremely painful stomach cramps caused by explosive diarrhea.
(5.0) fiery h-ll: excruciating stomach cramps with the feeling your b-tthole is on fire, literally.
(5.5) brown p-ss: when loud farts and moans and groans from your stomach cramps aren’t humiliating enough, brown p-ss will get rid of all your masculinity when a straight stream of water shoots out of your -ss and makes a louds spashing noise for everyone to gather round and hear.
(miscellaneous diarrhea term) cease fire: a very very very relaxing calm either after or between bad stomach cramps, when they are a symbol of colon wide peace it can be over joying, but sometimes your colon plays a cruel trick on you and starts the stomach cramps right back up again.
(10.0) nuclear diarrhea: liquidy poo, under enough pressure to blow up hiroshima.
patient: i’m afraid doc, my diarrhea is getting worse.
doctor: using the diarrhea scale describe to me your diarrhea.
patient: well on the first day it was only around a 1.3, but the next day it jumped straight to 3.5 and by the end of the day was a solid 5. the next day it was at a 5.3 the next it was a 5.5 and today it was a 5.9.
doctor: when was your last cease fire?
patient: 3 days ago.
doctor: mother of g-d…
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