Dick, Shit Tampon
when your girl is on her period you can use the “d-ck sh-t tampon” as an alternative to costly pads and stuff. make sure you have a lot of fiber in your diet because firm sh-ts work best. first, you f-ck her for a little bit to get her p-ssy opened up and the juices flowing (if your d-ck is smaller than your sh-t you may choose to use a d-ld- to begin the lubrication and widening process). you can then c-m in her for good measure (optional, but highly recommended). after this, you proceed to line up your -sshole with her gaping c-nt and slowly ease in your “sh-t tampon”. this will save you the outrageous cost of stupid feminine products and the embarr-ssment of walking through the store with them. if you are eating regularly, you can replace the tampons often which is good for hygiene. it is recommended that you change the tampon daily, or every other day if she’s being a b-tch about it.
your lady: “honey, will you go to the store and get me some tampons?”
you: “come on, b-tch, i’m not going to the store. relax and i’ll give you a ‘d-ck, sh-t tampon’.”
your lady: “great idea! you know, ‘d-ck, sh-t tampons’ are more absorbent than other leading brand tampons.”
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