Dog Helmeting
act of doping a dog up with muscle relaxants and laxatives, putting it on top of your shaved head, pulling down on the hind legs, and stretching out its r-ct-m to fit on your head like a hat.
dog helmeting: known among aficionados as dög hëlmüting
step 1. shave your head. if the dog is long haired, shave the dog’s posterior and r-ct-m area as well;
step 2. feed dog laxatives and/or muscle relaxants disguised as doggie “treats” so that the dog r-ct-m will expand and dialate wider;
step 3. lube now shaven head (if laxatives were used in the previous step, excess feces may be used as well);
step 4. place dog on top of head, r-ct-m covering top of head. careful for the head may become submerged in the rectal cavity causing suffocation;
step 5. spin dog.
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