Dr. Bear

dr. bear is probably the most pervy, inexperienced health care ‘professional’ to date. it’s horrible enough getting seen to by him when he has his rubber gloves on, but even more so when he forgets to put them on, because his hands are so furry. not to mention the claws. if this isn’t enough to put you off visiting him, then bare in mind he does not use surgical lubricant, but his own saliva. oh and yes, he is technically qualified to examine all areas of the human body (note: you may occasionally see a possum on his desk, though) but he says his speciality is the genital region. scary sh-t, dr. bear.
boyfriend: honey, why does your downstairs look like a prawn sandwhich?

girlfriend: -starts crying uncontrollably- it.. it was that fiend. dr. bear called me into his office and examined me. he said he could tell i had an std just by the look of my eyebrows. he didn’t use any lube!

boyfriend: my god, i’m so glad you came out in one piece, that b-st-rd is going to get his -ss kicked one day!

girlfriend: -still crying, but hugs boyfriend-

boyfriend: -hugs back-

…5 minutes of mutual sobbing…

boyfriend: oh, by the way, did you have an std?

girlfriend: no! -crys even more-