Dr. Oz


senile old doctor that turns the smallest little factor into a huge catastrophe on his show. the stupidest things become the biggest threats (see schmalfuss). if you suffer from agoraphobia and one day plan on returning back to the real world, do not watch this show. you’ll be even more paranoid than ever.
dr. oz: today on my show, we’ll be discussing the dangers of anthrax. if i were to throw anthrax down a street, everyone from a mile from it that inhales it may die.

me: um… ok

dr. oz: today on my show, we’ll be discussing the dangers of ddt. this stuff man, could kill you man.

me: yeah, in like 70 years ¬_¬
one who is fat and eats cake.
hey…what droz ate my cake?!?

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