Drunkenese


the prevailing language of alchoholopia and its prevailing drunken commonwealths. considered by many as one of the easiest to learn and most universally popular of the languages, drunkenese is still not considered a viable language credit in most accredited instututions of higher learning.

if you are unsure whether or not a speaker of an unfamiliar language is in actuality speaking drunkanese, look for these tell-tale signs: excessive salivating, repeated catch phrase quoting, propensity to trail off or tell stories that never really go anywhere, horizontalness, spontaneous projectile vomiting, and a tendency to overestimate audience’s level of interest in speaker.

speakers of drunkenese are occasionally confused with having a degenerative brain disorder.

if you are interested in learning more about drunkenese, check out a bottle of royal crown from your local liquor store and study, all night if you have to.
man 1: “hey…thees parteee izzz tha…shiiii…uhm…hey…man i just like totally downed uhm 5 jager shots and…im rick james b-tch!”

man 2: “im sorry. i dont speak drunkenese. where are your pants?”
(n.) the language spoken by those who have consumed large enough quant-ties of alcohol to become legally intoxicated, usually marked by slurring or incomprehensibility of each word spoken

(adj.) of, relating to, or characterized by those who have consumed large enough quant-ties of alcohol to become legally intoxicated
had the b-m not spoken in his native dialect, drunkenese, he may have more easily convinced the tourists to lend him a dollar.

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