Durnin Collar
a durnin collar, often known simply “a durnin”, is the unfortunate scenario when the shirt collar subtely refuses to sit right. it is hard to fix, devilishly uncomfortable and worst of all- it gives the wearer the appearance of a sunflower. the durnin sneaks up on even the best of us in many ways:
1. the simple durnin occurs when the top b-tton of a shirt is fastened, but the collar sticks out at an unfortunate angle, thus likening collar to the wings of a plane. repairing the simple durnin is, as the t-tle suggests, simple, and requires the wearer to push the outside of the collar down whilst pulling the inside of the collar up, though extreme cases may require a b-tton-down collar.
2. the wild durnin is similar to the simple durnin, the only difference being that the collar is un-fastened at the top b-tton, giving the subject a more shamelessly hideous appearance. unfortunately, the wild durnin is far more difficult to correct than its simple counterpart, and one is often required to re-dress.
3. the parachute durnin is the most offensive durnin collar available. though technically un-related to the collar, it occurs when some of the material from the back of a shirt rises up the neck, and is trapped by the jacket, meaning that the subject has countless folds of material seeping through the gap between shirt and jacket, hence the t-tle. there is however relief given in that the para-durnin is simple to correct; it only requires a sharp tug from the bottom of the shirt.
“check the durnin collar on obama tonight”
“dude, d’you think he’s realised he’s got a parachute durnin?”
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