Easton

a town in northern bristol county in m-ssachusetts with a population around 25,000 people, 80% of whom are white. easton became the epicenter of shovel production during the 1800s and early 1900s, until the shovelshop was shut down (today the shovelshop is a mix of low and middle income apartments). lately, easton has become more active, with low and middle income apartment complexes, town-houses, and some rich neighborhood developments all being built in the town. easton is a town where you can find very poor (mainly in the trailer parks in south easton) and very rich (mainly in north easton). easton has also succ-mbed to the heroin epidemic plaguing the south sh-r- in m-ssachusetts, which has resulted in a rise in crime here as well as neighboring brockton and stoughton. easton is still a bedroom community, but is changing due to its proximity to brockton, fall river/new bedford, and boston. traffic is plentiful during the day because of this as well. drugs are everywhere, and by south sh-r- standards (the south sh-r- has among the highest rates of heroin use and overdose in the u.s), easton is average. south easton (a.k.a. the south) is seeing increased immigration from boston neighborhoods such as dorchester and roslindale, but also from latin america, the caribbean, the middle east and eastern asia. easton is still a very safe and charming town, a place any person, regardless of income, race, or s-xual orientation can feel safe and welcomed. easton is a different town.
bob: hey, wanna go drive to easton and shoot up?

j’quan: sure, but i wanna smoke some bud too, and my buddy raúl lives in the south (south easton) and always has fire, we’ll stop and pick him up first and go park at one of the complexes in the south.

bob: nice, i love the south, cops almost never go there! also, make sure raúl brings the indica, i want that body high!
j’quan: if you want that good indica, we should hit up my by n-gg- lou-kim, he gets his sh-t shipped from canada!
bob: is he the dude who gets that potent–ss tar?
j’quan: ya!
bob: sh-t! tell him i want an eighth of the indica and a finger of that tar! i wanna get slumped as f-ck tonight!
j’quan: haha! my brother! lets get goin!
12 more definitions
a rich wanna-be farm town in fairfield county. quite possibly the whitest place on earth. characterized by cows, lots of trees, roads that are only wide enough for one car to p-ss at a time, two stores, mansions, expensive cars, and farms.

kids usually engage in excessive drinking (beruit is a common game) and drugs because there is nothing else better to do (entering freshmen from this town can usually drink college seniors under the table).

also, the weekend day trip destination for rich parents, usually wearing pastel polos, with little kids from more populated areas of connecticut, new york, new jersey, and m-ssachusetts who go to “farms” in this town to pick fruit, chop christmas trees, and go on hay rides because they think this is the outdoors.

to be eligible to live in easton, you need at least three of the following:
1. drive a jeep, volkswagon, bmw, mercedes, lexus, or land rover.
2. own a house costing at least 1 mil.
3. listen to dave matthews or some jam band.
4. be able to drive over 60mph on 10 foot wide roads.
5. have mexicans do landscaping.
6. drink excessivly or do some form of drugs.
“hey where do you live?”
“easton”
“did you hear about that cocain bust in middle school?”
a sweet, charming, adorable, smart, funny, incredibly gifted child. also the name of a famous sports brand. derieved from the words east and on. east- the right direction. on-do i really need to tell you? yes this name is most commonly for white boys.
girl 1: oh look he’s perfect!
girl 2: definitely an easton!
a city in pennsylvania known for it’s soaring high school dropout rates, young female teens getting knocked up, and of course its superior laziness
ex. wow you’re such a b-m, do you live in easton?
a wonderful lover; if you know one date him. he will always make you feel loved. eastons make very good boyfriends. a very excellent kisser. will always give you the b-tterflies. known for having a great personality, he’s the best friend you always wished for. he always knows what to do and always gives the best advice. he is super smart. he tends to make people laugh a lot. known to be very c-cky and arrogant, but his looks will sweep your heart away from the start.
girl #1: look at that hot guy over there!

girl #2: oh my gosh! he must be an easton!
a very small town in fairfield county, one of the richest counties in the united states where about 99% of the people are caucasian (unless they are a gupta, bletsas, or costa) and do a lot of drugs. there is absolutely nothing to do here so unless you are traveling to another town for movies/mall/etc. you are probably partying in a field somewhere or smoking pot in your house watching the tube. this is a town where 10 year olds have cell phones, 16 year olds are given bmws and mercedes as their first cars, the drinking age is practically 13, houses are at the very least a million bucks, and one of the easiest places to find drugs. after high school, most of your friends are from redding, and you probably won’t stay in touch with too many in the span of your life because everyone moves the f-ck out because of the rising taxes and expenses.
don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful place with giant houses and friendly people…friendly if you have a coach purse and shop at abercrombie and fitch. stepford wives and pristine children, welcome to easton!
“hey, is anything going on in easton tonight?”
“no..let’s go to huntington park or the pane open sp-ce!”
“alright, who’s going to brewster for a beer run?”

“we took a stretch hummer to prom!”
“we took my friends stretch limo that her family owns”

“mr. norris is so heady”
a town where emo kids rule, “ghetto” (i use qoutations marks becuase the only ghetto in easton is behind the easton village store, where all the druggies get their fix)and there are more white kids than a blink 182 concert. in fact, white kids make up about 95% of the population. the only asian kids are either wiggers or..well, wiggers. definined by small roads, nice cars, druggies, emo kids, and nothing to do (which is why there are so many druggies). but im sure as h-ll not saying all the kids are druggies…just most of them. kids that arent preps or emo are far and few between. people wearing over 200 dollars worth of clothes at one time is not uncommon, and niether are having taxes that cost more than some inner city houses. games of public ‘ruit is not unusual. h-ll, the pta may even sponser a game now and then. by 7th grade, many kids can down an entire bottle of vodka without even flinching. dont get me wrong, its a beatiful town..that is, if you dont get smashed on your way into town by an escalade going a buck twenty on a road that could be mistaken for a paved hiking path.
“wow, that medow seems sure pretty, minus the smashed beer bottles and the eleven p-ssed out middle schoolers! arent you glad we moved to easton?”
home of the country’s dumbest government system ever. full of a bunch of p-ss-es who over charge you in taxes so that they can save the trees. you may also know it for its tendency to have a r-t-rded school system where the administration are a bunch of f-gs when it comes to suspending a student. people often nickname it the wannabe greenwich country club or that place where a bunch of people go to waste their money on their kids thinking the school system is good. the only store in the town gives a new definition to rathole. the only good part about easton is that it has numerous exits to get out. kids there think they’re black and dress up to a laxer style attire. many of them would rather live and die in bridgeport than ever set foot in easton.
student: i will stab you with a knife (pretending to teacher)
male teacher: ugh! oh my gosh he’s gonna murder me! police! police! i’m going to press charges. always in the town of easton!
princ-p-l:jokingly saying that you’ll stab someone violates our policies, that will be a 1 month suspension.

princ-p-l: we called you in here because you… do you know what you did?
student: uhhh…
princ-p-l: we called you in because you logged onto someone else’s account which violates our acceptable use policy. that means you’re expelled.