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a is for alone; and always complaining how you are just that.

b is for bracelets; but any wrist adornment will do.

c is for crying.

d is for dyed black hair.

e is for emotion; and exaggerating every one you have.

f is for floorpunch!!!

g is for gl-sses; preferably thick black rims.

h is for heartbreak. boo hoo.

i is for the intense pain you feel from your unrequited love.

j is for jilted lover.

k is for kissing; and whining about how you aren’t doing it.

l is for labeling yourself.

m is for mood swings.

n is for never having any friends who care about you.

o is for “old man pants”.

p is for “picked last in gym cl-ss”; and other cliches of the sort.

q is for questiong your self worth.

r is for remembering the times when things were wonderful, and then crying about how much your life sucks.

s is for sweaters.

t is for thrift stores.

u is for underdeveloped muscles; because you have to be out of shape, one way or another, to be emo.

v is for veganism.

w is for whining about how everything is so terrible, and your parents that make six figures can’t buy you the love that you want.

x is for x-girlfriends, and talking about the pain that they bring you.

y is for your miserable existance.

z is for zooming in with your camera, because you’re a photographer.
you wanna try being emo? read the emo alphabet.
a is for alone, emos are known for this, but sometimes its just to go free of problems and sway with the music.

b is for band, many emos are in a garage band.

c is for caring. emos arent afraid to show their emotions, and they say i love you and mean it. they are much more caring then the modern jock azz.

d is for delicate. emos are the very rare type of boy that will give you a gentle kiss and be happy, rather then digging into the pants or bra.

e is for emotion, emos show them very well and don’t hide them at all. you don’t have to go through days to know their personality.

f is for f-ckers, all of those people who call all emos ‘gay cutters’ get your facts straight kids.

g is for grand, emos are truly a grand sight for your eyes!

h is for heart. amazing! girls listen to this, most emos auctually have one! o_o

i is for intimate. trust me, emos can be very intimate.

j is for ‘just another stereotype’ they have many definitions and opinions, just like all of the other labels out there.

k is for kiss, and may i mention, they are great at it!

l is for love. not l-st like other guys, but love.

m is for make-up. some emos wear eyeliner and black nailpolish. this is not gay or bi. its just hott. get over yourselves people and accept the truth.

n is for never. he never hugs to tight, he never walks away when you cry on his shoulder, he never presses you to do something for his pleasure.

o is for only you. if you date one of these rare boys, it is a rare occurence if they cheat.

p is for paper heart. it takes alot for one of these guys to trust a girl, if that girl hurts him, you can almost hear the shredder coming out.

q is for quest. these boys know their goal in life, and they go toward it.

r is for rain. rain plays a big part- often they write poems when it rains. also, their beautiful hair looks perfect in the rain.

s is for she. there are also such a thing as emo girls, some people don’t understand.

t is for true. forget rihanna and her songs for a moment people. emos are very true, and loyal. kindof like a trustworthy dog. o_o

u is for unknown. most of the ‘real emos’ are unknown, as there are way too many posers out there.

v is for vishue, and many other bands that you never heard of. these boys find the unknown, and they treasure it.

w is for why. why yet another label? and where. where did it all start?

x is for xxx. emos make a new much more modern and better definition for xxx.

y is yum. just… yum.

z is for (as ‘panic at the gay bar’ said) zooming in with their camera, because they are a talented photographer who always has the perfect balancing shots.
person 1 (one of the many ‘f-ckers’): oh my god! look, that guy has sh-ggy hair! {aka ’emo’ hair} he writes lame poetry and cuts his wrists and cries all the time.
person 2: dude, your stereotyping again…read the emo alphabet…
person 3: -runs up to ’emo’ and joins many other girls- ohmigawd! your like, so like, totally hawt! will you go out with me?
a is for angsty; always angsty, often without reason.

b is for bangs; to cover their eyes in a rather stupid way, causing them to trip a lot.

c is for clone; they are all alike.

d is for define; they not only are emo, they must constantly define themselves as emo.

e is for everybody; all the people who want to beat them up.

f is for facebook; because they can’t make friends in real life.

g is for “guys”; because it just needs air quotes.

h is for half haircut; because they only pay for half which is why they have side bangs.

i is for i; because that is all they think about.

j is for joyless, because they are determined to have no fun.

k is for kitten; because they are equal to kittens in both stregnth and intellegence.

l is for love: because they cry so much about it.

m is for mysp-ce.com; because otherwise they would have no friends.

n is for nonconformist; because they are such nonconformists because they conform to the nonconformists.

o is for overly dramatic; because they can’t stop whining.

p is for poetry; it takes two emos to screw in a lightbulb, on to do it, and one to write a poem about it.

q is for quitters; because they are such experts.

r is for razors; because their hd tvs are not big enough, so the solution is self-mutilation.

s is for scars; up and down their arms.

t is for tantrum; because the store was out of their favourite soy drink.

u is for ugly; because most of them don’t know they are, but all of them are.

v is for virgin; no reason at all…

w is for want; because no matter ho much they have, thay still want more.

x is for x-acto; they cut themselves to feeeeeel.

y is for youth; among many things wasted.

z is for zero, all the world wants and needs.
d-ck: …want, x-acto, youth, and zero.
jane: what was that song you were singing, d-ck?
d-ck: it is the emo alphabet, from our book “emo with d-ck and jane.”
1. a moderately amusing joke on emos, although reinforcing pointless stereotypes.
2. an unskillfully concealed desperate attempt to get laid.
see other definitions for both examples of “emo alphabet”.