emo fag

the top ten identifiers of an emo f-g:

1a. black hair that is engineered to look messy and greasy (though not spiky enough to be “punk”) and must cover at least 60% of the face. note: do not confuse this with a much broader range of stupid looking, messy on purpose hair, usually belonging to a scenester.
1b. if the hair is not ridiculously greasy and/or black, the hair is preened in some ridiculously outdated and hideous style, that, again, must cover at least 60% of the face.
2. girl’s jeans. my personal theory is that they wear these pants to accentuate their genitalia, but as we all know that emo f-gs never have any use for their genitalia
3a. a very tight argyle sweater, even in the summer time.
3b. a very tight t-shirt, maybe a girl’s “babydoll” t-shirt, usually adorned with a picture of a band that is very hard to listen to.
4. extreme skinniness, not natural thinness, but more of an emaciated form, almost as if they are too sad to eat.
5. an uncomfortable looking scarf, even in hot weather. usually in some ironic, plaid or striped pattern.
6. (optional) trite box-frame gl-sses, used to make said emo f-g look intellectual. in many cases, these gl-sses are non-prescription. if in any event you discover that an emo f-g you see is wearing gl-sses they do not need, it is policy to grab and destroy these, preferrably in front of him and his emo f-g friends.
7. converse all-star shoes, mainly black (and sometimes they will spend extra money to get the kind with black rubber), but some presistent emo f-gs will go out of their way to purchase this style of shoe in some garish pastel color off the internet. they will 9 times out of 10 be in pristine condition (due to having 15 pairs), save for some sharpie markings, usually some band name, or ridiculous lyrics.
8. a black leather belt with some form of metal stud worn around the beltline, but stupidly enough not threaded through the belt loops.
9. (optional) cliche tattoos/piercings, including a cal star (aka nautical star), lobe plugs (usually not ridiculously big like those body mod freakshows who don’t like dealing with that pesky job market), barbed wire. note: some emo f-gs are too young to get piercings or tattoos, so they just tell everyone about what they’re going to get. sadly enough, this trend will have p-ssed by the time they are old enough to get mutilated.
10. really bad taste.
if you’ve been at a college in the last 3 years, you know what i’m talking about.
a person that listens to emo. the dress in tight jeans, scarves, have messy hair (it’s supposed to be like that) and they wear girl’s skinny-fit tshirts. may or may not have box gl-sses. has a lip piercing off-centre. normally very skinny. they are in touch with their feminine side (read: v-g-n-) and cry when people die in soap operas. apparently, it makes them more ‘vulnerable’ and ’emotional.’
shut the h-ll up, you emo f-g.

you listen to emo, f-g.

listening to emo has turned you into a b-tch. make me a sandwich and get me a beer, emo f-g.
1- a whiny b-tch who somehow got his hands on a guitar and sings like a eunuch whilst dressed as a nerd

2- someone who likes emo music; a f-gmort
“i’m gonna get some nerdy gl-sses, a hundred dollar guitar, and fail at leapfrogging over a fire hydrant so that i may sing like an emof-g.”

“dashboard confessional? you fail at life, emof-g.”
an emo f-g is a self-hating, constantly depressed h-m-. for some reason, said emo f-g thinks that songs about killing themselves is good music. then theres the emos who think their “hardcore”. there is no such thing as a hardcore emo. deal with it f-ggots. emo f-gs also usually use the term “hardcore” to describe anything they think is cool. usually what an emo thinks is cool really isnt. they also wear girl pants, eyeliner, and do anything else a f-g would do.
emo f-g 1: “hey man lets go listen to the new hawthorn heights alb-m and cry and slit our wrists!”
emo f-g 2: “yeah! i bet if we cut our wrists we will get more attention!”
emo f-g 1: “then after we do that we can spend a few hours putting on makeup and doing our hair”
emo f-g 2: “yeah then we can try on your little sisters pants and take some hardcore pictures of us being depressed!”
puritan: emotional-hardxcore h-m-s-xuals(used only by real emo f-gs)
casual/street: derogatory term used to degrade emo kids by people who hate them because of how they dress and act.
billy) im gonna go kick the sh-t out of those emo f-gs…
jimmy) dont even bother, they’ll just go home and write more bad poetry about it…
stupid queerbaits that contradict themselves. they call everybody outside their group conformists, yet they conform to conform which means they’re complete f-cking hypocrites. they also wonder why n-body likes them when they’re constantly depressed and no fun to be around.
emo f-g: “wtf, i only got $500 for allowance this week -cries-. my life is so unfair…i’ll write a song about it -cut wrists-. i can’t get a girlfriend because girls just don’t understand me -m-st-rb-t-s-”
-very depressed and complain about how cr-ppy their life is, yet they never do anything about it but complain.
-shop at either rediculously expensive stores, or rediculously cheap stores (aka thrift stores).
-wear everything a size too small to make themselves look like a f-ggot (reason why they called emo f-ggot).
-i pretty much like to call it the straight man’s way of dressing gay, although some emo f-ggots are actual ones.
emo f-g thinks to himself, i have to go to the restroom. he walks into the restroom and goes to unzip his pants. his pants have been sucessfully unzipped, although the tough part about it is, actually pulling them down to take your p-ss, if this happens to you, you must be an emo f-g!