Emotional Tampon

n: a role taken on by the man in a ‘just friends’ male/female relationship. an emotional tampon is a man who will always be there to provide a woman with the proverbial ‘shoulder to cry on’ or some other outlet for her to otherwise vent her emotional frustration, problems, and mental unbalance. ultimately, he becomes the only person for whom this behavior is reserved as n-body else will tolerate it but him.

this herculean effort is too often never rewarded in any substantial or tangible way (at least not in a way that the man would typically hope for, which is a good skronking session, or at least a bj), and is typically the only contact between the two parties.
the late comic sam kinison (1953-1992) coined the phrase “emotional tampon” in his first hbo comedy special “sam kinison: breaking the rules” in 1987, with this line:

“so you just want to be friends, huh? yeah, i think i know what that means. i become some kind of ’emotional tampon’ you need three or four days out of the month… when no one else will take your f__king bullsh__…”
what someone becomes when you harangue them endlessly with all your sad sob stories. to make someone’s ears the recepticle of of all your bullsh-t issues.
after having heard about her breakup for the millionth time, i screamed ” get a maxi pad – i’m not your emotional tampon!”
a man who listens to women’s problems but never gets any s-x from them
she just talks and talks and he listens, that dumb-ss emotional tampon will never get any p-ssy
being the person who everyone goes to to talk about their problems but in the end they may just throw u aside
i’ve been talking to this really hot chick in school, shes been going through a tough time and i may ask her out next weekend.

dude…. your just and emotional tampon i wouldn’t expect anything out of it
a person or confidant who is willing and happy to listen to all of the terrible sh-t going on in your life.
listen lady, i’m your bus driver, not your emotional tampon.
a non-threatening guy that girls use to vent there emotions. this guy is generaly teased and ridiculed by other males. the male tampon offen thinks that he is all that and is a complete ladies man while really he is just a girls way of realeasing emotional tention.
“mike is such an emotional tampon”
“all of the girls go and cry on his shoulder and then go screw there boyfriends.”
“what a queer”
“amen to that brother”
something only women are capable of, and evil enough to do. they fool poor insecure men into thinking they are recieving affection when they never will. they are often used as pillows for tears, or little “i lost my boyfriend and i’m grieving him” dolls. if this happends to you, just tell them to fk off.
john says “this b-tch just lost her boyfriend. i think she likes me because she’s holding my hand and it feels nice”

dave says “haha you’re such a loser you emotional tampon! get a life!”

then john cries.