ETLDR
email too long didn’t read
etldr: email sent by people with the inability to be concise. engineers often exhibit the verbosity gene, inspiring those of of with stuff do to respond with this acronym and hit the delete b-tton.
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- license from a cornflake packet
the phrase used for someone who can’t drive well, meaning that their driving license couldn’t have been official, because they’re so bad at driving. look at that driver! he must have gotten his license from a cornflake packet!
- Store time
leaving the time on your watch unset and incorrect after purchase for the duration of ownership. me: what time time is it? guy: (pulls out iphone) … me:why didn’t you just look at your watch? guy: it’s on store time.
- Cabsicle
c-cky -ss b-tch -sicle i’m so over that little cabsicle
- Starfished
to respond to one with a noteworthy quote from patrick star, a prominent character in the popular tv show spongebob. typically the quote is illogical or absurd for the situation. the quoter may then say “starfished” after the quote to reveal his/her intentions. mcdonald’s employee: -answers phone- customer: hi is this mcdonalds? employee: no this […]
- friend tax
the things you do out of obligation to friends in your life with no tangible expectation of payback. person 1: “man, why do i have to invite sheila’s loser boyfriend? it’s my d-mn party.” person 2: “suck it. friend tax.” taxing your friends or partners by taking a portion of they’re meal. friend 1:”hey you […]