evangelical atheist

see -sshole

an evangelical atheist is one who not only believes there is no god or other supreme being, but is obsessed with convincing everyone around them to become an atheist too, usually through hard-line intolerance (the kind they accuse other religions of). when cornered they usually try to put down their opponent’s religion and bash them for ‘blind faith’, not realizing that their belief that there is no god is no more or less valid or provable than the other guy’s belief that there is one.

not to be confused with normal atheists/agnostics, who for the most part just dont talk about religion and accept the beliefs of those around them as their perogative. evangelical atheists are particularly common on the internet, as organized religion is generally accepted as part of ‘the system’ of global human society, and lately it’s become cool on the internet to hate ‘the system’. mostly teen angst if you ask me…
evangelical atheist: “hi, i’m an atheist.”
other guy: “cool, i’m jewish.”
atheist: “you fool! you practice religion lol, youre a dumb-ss and im cool because im an atheist. i shall now proceed to explain why blind faith is dumb, unless its blind faith in atheism which is a coincidental exception”
other guy: “shut it b-tch, you’re a dumb-ss”
atheist: “but im an atheist, which means im always right. and im not an intolerant pr-ck like all members of religion are, hurr hurr hurr.
a person who has become extremely vocal about their atheism and is trying to convince others of their point of view. often they are regarded as an embarr-ssment by fellow atheists.

sometimes their behaviour is an indication of the insecurity they might feel in supporting their belief ,especially when confronted with reasonable arguments from the other side.
some evangelical atheists seek relief and vindication by lobbying to p-ss laws that will make it difficult for religious people to voice their opinions in the public square, or teach their beliefs to their own children.or even to -ssemble together with like minded people if the -ssembly is on government property.(as in new york)

for others, their proselyting rage may be an indication that their beliefs are foundering and they are on their way to a radical paradigm shift ( ie anthony flew )
richard dawkins ‘ the g-d delusion’ the opus magnum of a well known evangelical atheist

“the g-d delusion makes me embarr-ssed to be an atheist ”
– prof michael ruse
an atheist that combats religion as zealously as evangelicals thrust their religious beliefs on others.
i was talking to a co-worker about an episode of mysteries of the bible on national geographic and this evangelical atheist jumped into our conversation telling us that we believed in a spaghetti monster g-d.
an atheist who is so committed to his own doctrine of the non existence of g-d that he believes he holds to no doctrine at all and has thus been consumed by his actual philosophical dogma, cause, ident-ty, and world view.

an atheist who holds his position by falsely claiming he has no position.

an atheist who splits not only semantically thin hair but thin air.
evangelical atheists love to redefine the traditional established definition of atheism.

if evangelical atheists believed in nothing then they would have nothing to say in the first place.
an individual who is actually egocentric and arrogant enough to believe that they can disprove god’s existence. they harbor intense hatred and resentment for all religious organizations. but reserve most of their bile for any christian who would dare to publicly espouse his beliefs. and so begins the crusade for justice and reason. someone has to reach out to these ignorant believers. to open their eyes to how meaningless life really is.

however, due to the fact that ea have very little social skills, and even less t-st-cl-s; engaging a believer in face to face debate is generally not possible. it would require them to venture out of their parents bas-m-nt into the sunlight to talk to someone who might make them question their own beliefs and motivations. therefore they take the fight to the web. where they far outnumber the faithful who generally have jobs, families and lives.

often lifelong singles (marriage is a religious inst-tution and requires a willing partner) males of the species m-st-rb-t- bitterly to humiliation p-rn. because feeling dirty inside is better than feeling nothing. while the females turn to collecting cats and plastering their car with darwin stickers in the mistaken belief that people read them. not to be confused with the less common atheist. who simply doesn’t believe in god and does not give a f-ck what anyone else thinks. entirely separate genus from the agnostic who are secure enough in their own self worth to admit they don’t know.
the atheist laughed and shot a bird as he drove past the “pro-life” rally at the abortion clinic. then forgot about it five minutes later. the evangelical atheist honked his horn, shot a bird, shouted obscenities and spent 3 hours fantasizing about going back and running them all down. but lacked the requisite t-st-cl-s to actually do so.
an evangelical atheist is simply any atheist who actively tries to convert religious people to atheism.

it is important to note that, contrary to popular belief, atheists almost never make a definitive claim that “god does not exist”. only a very small percentage of atheists make such claims and they are referred to as “strong atheists”.

“belief that god does not exist” is not the correct definition of atheism, even though many dictionaries incorrectly list it as such. more accurately, atheism actually means something more like “the belief that there is insufficient evidence to -ssume the existence of god (over any alternatives), and thus one should not live as though one knows that god exists”. thus it is never fair to say that atheists have “just as much faith” as religious people do.

no human being has reliable evidence of santa claus existing, but that does not mean that one can definitively say that he does not exist, because it would essentially require searching the entire universe for him, which is impossible. there is no good evidence for santa claus, thus we shouldn’t live our lives in such a way that we -ssume he is actually real. atheists think about god in the same way.

some atheists are evangelical is because they believe that the world would be better off if people didn’t make -ssumptions that are not justified. modern science came into existence only because a certain portion of human beings decided that conclusions about the world must be well justified.
if an atheist tries to actively convert you to atheism, then that atheist could be called an evangelical atheist.
an evangelical atheist is a person that is an atheist and tries to spread atheism amongst theists. it is derived from evangelism, meaning “spreading good news” as practised by christianity. due to the rise of the conservative christain movement in the united states of america and the increase of humanistic thought, along with the increased blending other many different religions, atheism has become more and more popular. evangelical atheist usually seeks to “convert” borderline theists, often by engagaing in debate with fundamentalists.
theist: those who do not believe in g-d and follow jesus christ go to h-ll
evangelical atheist: where is h-ll?
theist: its a fiery place where sinners burn forever.
atheist: yeah but where is it? and how do i get there?
theist: its under heaven, maybe under the earth. and you get there by sinning.
atheist: ok, is there a tunnel down to it? can you show me on a map? do you have a photo?
theist: look, it says so in my holy book.
atheist: it also says to stone men to death if they shave their beards.
theist: nonsense!
atheist : no its here look, leviticus. see?
theist: er…..erm…..well….

etc…

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