ex boyfriend

a loser who you dated in the past in which you can now look back and only regret because you were way better than him anyway.

written from (past) personal experience. please examine yours (ex boyfriend.)
a d-ch- f-ck who probably told you that he loved you and never wanted to let you go and then decided that you were too negative for him, even though he was the one b-tching and whinning all the time about how he broke his leg and couldn’t do anything, then broke up with you to go out with a wh-r- he probably slept with in college, and broke up with you through a f-cking email while you were on vacation because he was too much of a p-ssy to do it in person.
my ex boyfriend should lie quietly while i cut off each limb of his body with a small knife, so its long and painful.
a guy you once dated, but now either:
a. want dead
b. are “friends” with
c. hook up with every once in a while
or
d. have erased all traces that they ever existed in your life.
a. my ex boyfriend jimmy should go play in traffic.
b. bob and i are good friends now that all that annoying relationship cr-p isnt in our way. as long as he doesnt talk about his new girlfriend and how great she is…that is crossing the line.
c. we used to date but now we just f-ck when we’re lonely and/or bored.
d. stephen who?
ex boyfriends are the enemy. they tell you they love you and then stab you in the back and it the heart and leave you for your best friend
example? you want an example? how about my ex boyfriend calling me every day to tell me how much he likes my best friend, right after we had broken up, and then turns around and calls her and tells her he loves her, and it turns out she loves him too
1. he who must not be named, otherwise known as douche bag face.
2. he is the subject of conversation for an indefinite amount of time, but he’s not worth wasting your breath.
3. that guy whose stuff you keep finding and burning (except the jewerly).
kevin, tim, greg, stephen
a spineless jack-ss that is constantly surrounded by drama and must always be the center of attention, no matter the situation. he is usually followed by a crowd of little girls that fall all over themselves to make him happy so he gives them attention. when he is not receiving attention, he becomes extremely cranky. lies and deception follow. you are far better off without him. it is best to avoid him all together. become a lesbian.
“hey, i saw your ex boyfriend crossing the street last night.”
“oh really? why didn’t you hit him with your car?”
a stupid f-ck who must die at my hands, so to speak
i’m gonna kill my ex boyfriend if i ever see him again

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