Excalibur

what the lady of the lake presented to arthur, king of the britains.
the who?
the britains.
who’re the britains?
you – i – we all are!
and i am your king.
well i didn’t vote for you.
you don’t vote for kings
oh, well i could be king then.
strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no base for a system of government. let’s face it: if i went around saying i was emperor because some broad launched a scimitar at me, they’d cart me away!

excalibur
excalibur was given to arthur by the lady of the lake after he had already become king of brittan by taking the sword from the stone and anvil outside of the church in london.
excalibur was given to arthur by the lady of the lake along with a magic scabbard which provented him from ever loosing blood
the excalibur is when you plunge your phallic sword into the b-tt of an unsuspecting damsel. in surprise, she clentches her quivering -ss cheeks together, clamping your meat saber in the dark recesses of her “dragon’s lair.” now, you must choose your destiny by pulling your sausage machete out of her b-tt jungle. if you can accomplish such a feat, you will become the king you were born to be. and then hoagie slap her with your sh-t-covered d-ck.
“hey, wanda, why are you sitting on a hemorrohid donut?”
“because some gas station attentant performed the excalibur on me in the women’s restroom and became a king. heavy lies the crown, and heavy lies my r-ct-m, which is dripping out of my -n-s.”

“hey, carla, can you pick my sphincter up? it fell on the floor after a hobo did the excalibur to me last night.”
when you’re having s-x with a girl and just as you’re climaxing you pretend that you’re p-n-s is stuck. then, you pull it out with your hand and yell “excalibur!” as you beat off on the girl (or guy if that’s what you’re into).
“dude, if you add “excalibur,” it’s gonna be like the fiftieth s-x move on urban dictionary involving skeeting on a girl.”
a joint made with many different forms of thc and a touch of tobacco, if preferred.
(i.e. marijuana, hash, keif, and tobacco)
we rolled an excalibur at 4:20 last night, gonzo bomb.
when you bang a girl up the -ss and she flexes her -ss cheeks so hard that the guy can’t get out.
“ahh man my d-ck is so sore… my girlfriend excalibured me last night”

“look out for her, she looks like she would excalibur you”
1- an emotionally powerful person’s fully erect yang energy.

2- chopping off an emotionally powerful person’s fully erect yang energy.
i’ll excalibur that rebel if he makes one more face at me.

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