Extreme Cartwheeling

caution: this is a very real extreme sport not to be taken lightly.

how to play: all you need, is the ability to preform a half–ssed cartwheel, and a moderately busy street. now the idea, is to cross the street while doing one simultaneous cartwheel. that means, no stopping, no slowing down, and no p-ssying out. men who take pride in this activity are often drunk, or not men at all, but a bunch of dumb teenagers who are looking for a “good” time and a few laughs. until they get hit by a car.

i, myself, like to wear some hiked up gym shorts with a cut off tshirt. sungl-sses are a must during the night. you can’t see a thing when cars put their brights on. clothing of all kinds is acceptable, but try to make it s-xy.

there are many types of games you can play besides the regular ‘cross the street for fun’ deal. here’s a few more games you can try playing:

pig: you need at least 2 people to play this. one man must cartwheel across the street, in any path, and the other play must copy his exact path. if any car honks at you, gives you the finger, or yells at you, you are disqualified. b-tch.

freestyle: just cartwheel all over the road, go with and against traffic, just break free with an explosion of cartwheel greatness. if you want to compete, you set the amount of time each person has to make a performance, and rate it afterwords. the man with the highest score (preferably out of 10) wins.

tag: the same as regular tag, but you have to stay in the lanes, and can only travel by cartwheeling. if you leave the lanes, your automatically ”it”.

don’t let these games limit your imagination. come up with your own game!
have fun playing in traffic!
one time, a cop stopped me while i was extreme cartwheeling, only to tell me i was weraing too dark clothing for the nighttime, and that i should be careful.

see? outlaws respect a man who can cartwheel.