Faggot Cat

a parody of the song, “robot cat” by logan whitehurst
on channel 27 at a quarter to three,

i saw the craziest thing that i ever did see
no cash, no check, no c.o.d.,

so i called them with my credit card, quick as could be
n-body better get in my way

i got the package in the mail today!
i popped all the bubble wrap and threw it away

now i’m learning j-panese so i can read what the instructions say

there was a bag of nuts and bolts and screws

it didn’t say which screwdriver to use
i don’t know what the radiation warning’s about,

but hey, that’s okay; i can figure it out!
four legs, rubber bands, sprockets and gears

laser beam eyes and microphone ears
put it all together; what did i see?

i saw a f-ggot cat looking right at me

well, it slices, it dices, it catches the mices

it’s got a stock ticker with the wall street prices
knows how to sew, cook, play the guitar

say, it even put a new transmission in my car
it’s got a t-tanium cranium, chip in the brainium

pentium? best representium
pour in the eggs, milk, syrup, and flour,

’cause the f-ggot cat needs pancake power

when i say f-g, you say got. f-g, got, f-g, got.
when i say got, you say cat. got, cat, got, cat.
word to the f to the a to the double-g to the got to the c-a-t
so when i say f-ggot, you say cat. f-ggot, cat, f-ggot, cat
so when i say f-ggot, you say cat. f-ggot, cat, f-ggot, caaaaaaat