fapoffsturbate
to touch oneself in a manner that produces a “fapping” sound often resulting in wasted kleenex and d-ck cheese. due to lacking alternatives, it’s popularity has constantly risen since women were given rights.
john: hey joe, seeing as you’re a pathetic loser who can’t seem to get a girl, would it be a stretch to say that you fapoffsturbate whilst self-inducing asphyxiation to help yourself fall asleep at night?
joe: … huh…?
john: oh, i’m simply implying that you have a lot of time on your hands.
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