fart

a gas that comes out of every-single-creature-alive’s -n-s. and, yes ladies fart too. it is also known as methane, or p–p gas. in fact, this gas has lots of nicknames.
woman: -fart-
man 1: dude, that stinks.
man 2: ikr!
man 3: it wasn’t me

man 1: it wasn’t me either!
man 2: maybe it was her?
woman: umm… okay?

no farting
1. 1-man salute
2. 7.4 on the r-ct-m scale
3. acid-rain maker
4. after the thunder comes the rain
5. air bagel
6. airbrush your boxers
7. -n-l acoustics
8. -n-l ahem
9. -n-l audio
10. -n-l salute
11. -n-l volcano
12. -rs- blast
13. -ss blaster
14. -ss-scented methane
15. -ss biscuit
16. -ss thunder
17. -ss whistle
18. a t-rd whistling for the right of way
19. backdoor breeze
20. backfire
21. bad sprinkling
22. baking brownies
23. barking spiders
24. bean blower
25. beep your horn
26. belch from behind
27. better open a window
28. blast off
29. blast the chair
30. blasting the -ss trumpet
31. blat
32. blow -ss
33. blow mud
34. blow the big brown horn
35. blowing the b-tt bugle
36. blowing you a kiss
37. bomber
38. bottom blast
39. bottom burp
40. break the sound barrier without a plane
41. break wind
42. breath of fresh air
43. brown horn br-ss choir
44. brown thunder
45. bun shaker
46. burnin’ rubber
47. buster
48. busting -ss
49. b-tt bleat
50. b-tt burp
51. b-tt hair harmony
52. b-tt percussion
53. b-tt trauma
54. b-tt trumpet
55. b-tt tuba
56. b-ttock b-ssoon
57. cheek flapper
58. cheesin’
59. colonic calliope
60. crack a rat
61. crack one off
62. crack splitters
63. crimp off some breakfast biscuits
64. crop dusting (surrept-tiously farting while p-ssing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust)
65. crowd splitter
66. cut a stinker
67. cut loose
68. cut the cheese
69. cut the wind
70. death breath
71. deflate
72. doing the one-cheek sneak
73. doorkn-b
74. drop a barking spider
75. drop a bomb
76. drop -ss
77. dropped a bomb
78. eggy
79. empty my tank
80. exercising the meat nozzle (not sure if this one doesn’t belong in a different category)
81. exploding bottom
82. explosion between the legs
83. exterminate
84. fart
85. fire a stink torpedo
86. fire the retro-rocket
87. firing scud missiles
88. fizzler
89. flame thrower
90. flamer
91. flapper
92. flatulate
93. flatulence
94. flatus
95. flipper
96. float an air biscuit
97. floof
98. fluffy
99. fog slicer
100. fowl howl
101. fragrant fuzzy
102. free-floating -n-l vapors
103. free jacuzi
104. freep
105. frequency actuated rectal tremor
106. fumigate
107. funky rollers
108. gas attack
109. gas blaster
110. gas from the -ss
111. gas master
112. gaseous intestinal by-products
113. ghost t-rd
114. give a dirty look at the person next to you
115. grandpa
116. gravy pants
117. great brown cloud
118. hailing emperor crush
119. hey, did you fart? because you blew me away! (pick-up line)
120. heinus -n-s
121. hole flappage
122. hole flapper
123. honk
124. humrrhoids
125. hydrogen bomb
126. i made a pootie
127. if you are that embarr-ssed about it, you can always blame it on me.
128. ignition
129. insane in the methane
130. invert a burp
131. it’s low tide
132. jet propulsion
133. jockey burner
134. jumping guts
135. just calling your name
136. just keeping warm
137. just the noise
138. kaboom
139. k-fart
140. kill the canary
141. lay a wind loaf
142. lay an air biscuit
143. leave a gas trap
144. let a beefer
145. let each little bean be heard
146. let one fly
147. let one go
148. let the beans out
149. lethal cloud
150. letting one rip
151. lingerer
152. made a gas blast
153. make a stink
154. make a trumpet of one’s -ss (john milton)
155. mating call of the barking spider
156. methane bomb
157. methane production experiment
158. moon gas
159. mud duck
160. must be a sewer around
161. nose death
162. odor bubble
163. odorama
164. one man jazz band
165. one-gun salute
166. painting the elevator
167. pant stainer
168. panty burp
169. parp
170. party in your pants
171. p-ss gas
172. p-ss wind
173. play the tuba
174. playing the trouser tuba
175. plotcher (aka a wet one … bad form, points taken off for emmitting one of these)
176. poof
177. p–p gas
178. poot
179. pop
180. pop a fluffy
181. preventing spontaneous human combustion (south park)
182. prove it
183. prupe (norwegian–the e has two dots over it)
184. puff, the magic dragon
185. quack
186. rebuild the ozone layer one poof at a time
187. rectal honk
188. rectal shout
189. rectal tremor
190. release a squeeker
191. release an -ss buscuit
192. release gas
193. rep
194. rimshot
195. rip -ss
196. rip one
197. ripple fart
198. roast the jockeys
199. rotting vegetation
200. safety
201. salute your shorts
202. sas (silent and scentless)
203. sbd (silent but deadly)
204. set off an sbd
205. sh-t fumes
206. sh-t honker
207. sh-t vapor
208. shoot the cannon
209. shoppin’ at wal-fart
210. silent but deadly (sbd)
211. singe the carpet
212. singing the -n-l anthem
213. skunk smells his own smell first!
214. sounding the sphincter scale
215. sounds like a barking spider
216. sounds like a wompus cat
217. sphincter song
218. spit a brick
219. squeak one out
220. squeeker
221. steamer
222. step on a duck
223. step on a frog
224. stink bomb
225. stink burger
226. strangling the stank monkey
227. stress release
228. tail wind
229. telegraph from ft. a-hole to cmdr. nostril announcing the arrival of gen. shat
230. that felt good
231. the closest you get to cr-ping while standing up
232. the colonic calliope
233. the dog did it
234. the f bomb
235. the gluteal tuba
236. the sound and the fury
237. the stink’s gone into the fabric
238. the third state of matter
239. the toothless one speaks
240. thunder pants
241. thunderspray
242. toilet tune
243. toot
244. toot your own horn
245. trelblow
246. triple flutter blast
247. trouser cough
248. trouser trumpet
249. t-rd honking
250. t-rd hooties
251. turn on the a/c in your large intestine
252. uncorked symphony
253. under burp
254. venting one
255. wet one
256. what smell?
257. what the dog did
258. whoever smelt it dealt it
259. wrong way burping
260. your voice has changed, but your breath is still the same.
261. zinger
4.
(after farting at the urinal)
“after thunder comes the rain.”

135.
q. “what was that?”
a. “just calling your name.”

137.
“brrrrraaack”
“ewwww, get away from me!”
“take it easy, it was just the noise.”
the cry of the imprisoned terd.
monica left just in time, for my fart told me i would be p–ping soon.
noun – 1. an invisible and often malevolent ent-ty that can only originate from the human r-ct-m; the common fart generally lies dormant until the host expels it.