Fart Bib
n. small covering around the scr-t-m used to protect against splashback from wet farts. usually a simple napkin, piece of toilet paper, or tissue. in some countries it is customary to have intricately designed, hand-woven, fart bibs that closely resemble a hacky sack, or footbag, cut open and stuffed full of man sack.
in tanzania a fart bib is called a “scr–t scarf,” is heavily decorated with the diamonds from the past 8 generations of wedding rings belonging to the previous 8 paternal mothers. the scr–t scarf is first presented to a young man, or salamahawk, on his fourteenth birthday just prior to the the imbibing of the tribal hot sauce and his subsequent chicka mo’jumblies (the feast of three dozen hot wings upon lactating br–sts which turns the youth into a man).
see also: sack bag, ball suit, etc.
debbie: i am s-xually aroused, may i proceed with f-ll-t–n?
gus: why certainly, please provide me a few moments to comb my fake mustache and remove my fart bib.
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