fart mute
the act of contorting your body or grasping the cheek of your -ss and pulling it away from the other cheek in order to mute the sound of a fart. this is usually performed while in the bathroom at dinner parties or at the home of someone to which you are on a first date with. the maneuver is also useful while taking a dump and are on the phone with someone particularly if you have been on hold for 30 minutes and you finally get through to a real person, or an over-the-phone interview. the maneuver requires much skill and practice as too much cheek pull can actually amplify the fart sound to a high pitch squeal so loud that the neighbors dog will start barking.
i ate dinner at this girl’s house last week. when i went to the bathroom i felt a huge fart coming so i performed a fart mute maneuver.
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