Fat acceptance

the idea that, on the one hand, obesity should be treated as a disability for purposes of getting free airline seats and forcing employers to retain patently unqualified employees, and on the other, that singling out fat people for any reason whatsoever should be just as socially d-mnable as racism.

the values of fat acceptance stem from several convictions, which include: (1) that’s it’s somehow easier or more commendable to try to force all of society to change its standards of beauty and health, rather than put down the baby back ribs and lose a few kilos; (2) that the law should provide a remedy for every conceivable wrong; and (3) that because a very small percentage of fat people suffer from disorders that keep them fat despite a sensible diet and an active lifestyle, all fat people should be seen as helpless to shed even an ounce of their fat. so far, the movement’s greatest achievement has been making it unethical for doctors under most circ-mstances to tell patients that they are obese and need to lose weight; leading to radical chemical and surgical methods being employed to treat obesity-related chronic conditions, where dietary and lifestyle changes would be both less invasive and a lot cheaper. if successful, the movement’s consequences will include a radical redefinition what healthy eating and lifestyle habits are.
only when victoria’s secret has signed on a 300-lb model will we know that it’s committed to the ideals of fat acceptance.
the idea that fat people should not be discriminated upon based on their fatness, and they have the right to occupy at least two seats in planes and be given first seats in a pie house.
by the power vested in me by the fat acceptance movement, i have the sole right to wear custom-made pajamas at the office.
this is a movement that strives to accomplish five tasks:

1) see that everybody is treated with dignity even if certain individuals are medically overweight and/or obese
2) attack the main-stream, western line of thought that physically fit people are more s-xually attractive than obese people
3) deny any and all science that dictates obesity leads to lower lifespans and/or life quality
4) deny any and all science that proves obesity can be prevented and/or cured with changes to diet and exercise patterns
5) stigmatize fit people, especially fit people who used to be fat, for not accepting their bodies – only fat people have “real” bodies
speaker at fat acceptance rally: did you know that subway just renewed michael phelps’s contract to represent them? what about one of us? we’re healthy! and the only reason phelps has all those olympic medals is since he’s afraid to race against us, people with real bodies!
-audience rancorously applauds-
speaker: and did you know that airlines are now charging people for two seats if they exceed 400 lbs? why can’t they just make bigger planes for everyone to enjoy, especially us real people that don’t live by society’s ridiculous standards of following sound medical advice?
-audience applauds more softly-
speaker: and did you know that this fit, attractive boy i tried to sleep with won’t touch me because he says i’m not attractive? doesn’t he know how gravity works? i’m more attractive than most sports cars!
-audience has by then all p-ssed out due to standing for so long; too strenuous!-
necessary because of the previous two definitions.
what’s fat acceptance? oh, look, urban dictionary says it’s for losers. i guess it is, then.