Fauxstian
fauxstian is the combination of faux (which is a fancy french word for false/fake) + christian.
a person who claims to be a christian but whose actions go against true christian teachings and would make jesus – both baby jesus and adult jesus – cry.
when jesus himself would not approve of the evil shenanigans of a self-professed christian – that’s a fauxstian.
person 1: did you hear about the teachers at the christian school who bullied a 10 year old for being canadian?
person 2: i saw that in the news! where’s the love that jesus preached? remind me to never send my kid to that fauxstian school!
—
guy 1: why does he have so much hate in his heart?
guy 2: i know – and he does it all in jesus’ name. jesus would not approve of this ish.
guy 1: he gives us christians a bad name.
guy 2: he’s not a christian – he’s a fauxstian!
guy 1: let us pray!
guy 2: ok!
—
bridesmaid 1: why is the maid of honor being mean to me?
bridesmaid 2: oh, she hates you because you’re (insert random reason here).
bridesmaid 1: i don’t… how in the… but it’s 2013. doesn’t she know by now that (insert random explanation here)? i thought with her being so vocal about being a good christian, she’d be a more loving person.
bridesmaid 2: hey, preaching to the choir here! hey, don’t let her get you down. she’s a fauxstian, not a christian. the fact that she hates anyone for anything would make baby jesus cry.
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