febus

a physically repulsive c-nt-faced female co-worker.

a febus always has a distorted self-image. above all else, she believes she is the most attractive woman in the office and that every guy that works there wants to f-ck her. in reality her gut hangs over her belt, she has bowcankles, stupid hair, and a mud flap chin that goes from her mouth to her chest. all the guys at work call her a disgusting pig behind her back.

she also believes that she is the most intelligent person in the office, that everyone else is incompetent (all men especially), and that that somehow ent-tles her to be a f-cking c-nt to customers and coworkers.

even though she may have a boyfriend or a husband, she is always a man-hater. her typical workday consists of sitting with other febuses and comiserating about their man woes, eating 4 or 5 full meals in 8 hours and washing it down with non diet soda, planning her diet which is always going to start “next week”, changing her maxi pads, and nursing her yeast infection.

when she actually does find time to work she is complaining about how stupid customers are when they ask simple questions that a lay person should not know the answer to, and being a tw-t to coworkers when they have to do twice as much work to compensate for her incompetence. management is aware of what a f-cking c-nt she is but due to some unknown phenomenon they refuse to discipline or fire her, usually just laughing it off and saying, “oh that’s just the way she is… hahaha.”

febuses are highly social animals and almost always travel in packs of at least 2-3 (whenever possible). the plural form of a febus is either febuses or febi. both are correct.

febus stands for fetid evil b-tchy ugly sk-nk.
jeff, “oh my god look at all those febuses sitting together in that pod. can you imagine how bad it must smell over there?”

matt, “with all that yeast in the air… i bet it smells like the merita bread factory!”