fecal jihad

an incident where a bowel movement, or any derivative of it such as used toilet paper, are intentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. this is similar to a sh-tting incident but sh-tting incidents are accidental in nature. fecal jihaddists are also sometimes referred to t-rd terrorists. the most common word uttered by victims of fecal jihad is “f-ck!!”

there are several kinds of fecal jihaddists.

1: the roadside bomber a.k.a. land miner
this skillful but sick -sshole sh-ts on the ground or floor, it can be anywhere, indoors or outdoors, even in the middle of a five-star restaurant he’s like a dog. he wants you to step in it. these guys are usually p-ssive-aggressive cowards; some though just have a sick but excellent sense of humor.

2: the phantom menace (or phantom sh-tter)
this guy is similar the roadside bomber but he’s not quite as dangerous. this individual tends to sh-t in places where they linger, like a hallway closet or under a bed. people who upper deck are phantom menaces.

3: the suicide bomber
this is the most unholy of the bunch. this individual will defecate in his or her own pants and keep it there for everyone to bask in. suicide bombers often dunch themselves in public and go to places like the food court in the local mall for about two hours while smelling like a sh-t.
partygoer: dude, this party is great and all but i think you’re the victim of fecal jihad.

host: thanks, but what do you mean by fecal jihad?

partygoer: someone made a p–py on your kitchen floor and a few people tracked it though the house.

host: f-ck!!