Fert

fert is used throughout the eccles borough of salford in greater manchester, england to express a state of bemus-m-nt. often said when the recipient expresses dialogue of an intellectual or undistinguishable nature or the user is confused about a situation, word/phrase or action presented by any form of media. fert is said in a high-pitched voice with a definite purpose to ridicule its recipient/s. it is most commonly used by youths between the ages of 8 and 16 towards figureheads or those in authority.
recipient: when you multiply a decimalised irrational number whose sequence is of three digits, by 1000 and then subtract the original irrationality from this number you are left with the irrationality in a fractional form of n/999 (n=new number)

user: fert!
noun – when a small fart escapes, but its not loud enough or big enough to be concidered a fart.
“dude, that was a fert, fart like a real man”
describes every awkward situation, awkward hookup, weird sounding fart.
1.her- he asked if i wanted to “see his little friend”
me- fert!

2. step onto elevator with friend. everyone crowded around silently. look over to friend and whisper fert!
fert is a northern term used to replace the word ‘to’ in a sentence.

eg:

“av got to go to mi mams”

would be

“av got fert go to mi mams”

but you would not say “av got fert go fert mi mams” only use it once.
av got fert go to mi mams
a slang word for fertilizer used mostly by master gardeners.
person 1: man, that fert smells like poo!
person 2: thats cause it is poo!
fertile. iphone app says you are fertile. reason for hotflashes. moods. pre-menstrual.
“why am i so pms-y? i’m not on my period.”
“oh girl, you’re probably ferts”
used as a replacement for any word.
it is for the person that says it to decide its meaning.
check out my fert! (check out my -ss, b–bs, shirt, pants etc etc etc)
dont fert! (dont sweat it)
look at your fert (look at ur face etc etc)

fert (any thing that exclaims a surprise like cool wow awesome etc etc

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