flatubate
the art of masturbating while enveloped in a self inflicted dutch oven. often done on cold, lonely nights when you couldn’t even score with the leftover fatties at the pub. after twelve pints of guinness and 2am taco bell, flatubating is an obvious way to regain some dignity after failing to score. the added benefit is that it’s cheaper than buying condoms or cologne. you’re having s-x with someone you already know. and who doesn’t enjoy the smell of their own farts?
“dude, even that fat ugly chick turned me down. i’m gonna load up on pintos and cheese, go home and flatubate in my own king size bed.”
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