Flipperz
a seafood restaurant that loses its magic the further you move inland. as you move toward the geographic center of the continental united states, you will be prompted by a sign on the side of a dubious brick compound to ‘bang on window with spoon for service.’
once the eurasian bandit working the window has taken your order, he’ll either emerge with a bag full of mercury poisoning or a fistful of barbiturates, depending on what keywords or phrases you may have unwittingly uttered.
i went to flipperz and hardly even felt the induced sense of impending doom that comes with eating tainted flesh! it barely tasted like oil spill at all!
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