Florida

also known as the sunshine state because of its year round warm weather, florida is a great place to live. it’s a pretty common stereotype that florida is filled with snowbirds and old people and that is 100% true. the old people are known for driving 20-30 miles under the speed limit and causing careless car accidents however on the plus side if an old person hits you it’s very unlikely anyone will be seriously injured or killed and your car will probably have very little damage because old people don’t usually go over 20 mph so you’re good. the term “snowbirds” refer to the northerners that visit florida and they wear shorts and sit outside tanning when it’s 60 degrees out while the floridians are inside bundled up with the heater on. in florida we get hurricanes all the time and they don’t scare us unless their high categories. in fact hurricanes are welcomed because it’s a good excuse to have a day off and hurricane parties are pretty typical down here. the weather in florida is extremely bipolar it’s typical for it to pour really hard for 2 minutes and then have completely clear skies minutes later. winter doesn’t really exist in florida especially in south florida where it will occasionally get below 60 during the day in the winter time but other than that it’s pretty much warm year round, floridians consider below 60 to be freezing and we start bringing out the winter coats and uggs when it gets to that temperature.
the old people in florida can’t drive to save their lives!
114 more definitions
the godforsaken sunshine state renowned for weather and beaches. florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. well-known for its subpar education system, florida is home to florida state university, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. the population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired new yorker, go to any one of boca raton’s 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a latino/hispanic/person whose first language is spanish, turn around. florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like cuba (as evidenced by the little havana area of miami). still, florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. all place names here are either of spanish (punta gorda, boca ciega) or native american (tallah-ssee, econolockhatchee river) origin, or contain the word “orange” in them. florida decor has inexplicably come to mean “a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting.” floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.
-“florida’s a nice place to visit, but i wouldn’t want to live here.”
-“bah! go back to new york, you snowbird.”
florida: the state for the newly-wed and the nearly-dead.
aka: g-d’s waiting room.
a state with two seasons… summer and january 14th.
i went to florida for christmas break… it felt like i was there for spring break.
the only state in the country where the further north you go, the further south you get. also a lovely place to retire.
if i retire rich, i will probably live in or around miami, but if i retire poor, i’ll probably retire up north near the panhandle, in a trailor, with my dog rufus. someone kill me
america’s w-ng (see: america’s w-ng)
homer simpson: we can’t go to florida… thats america’s w-ng! -points at the d-ck-like state of florida-
the only state in the u.s. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
hurricanes or morons? people of florida have to pick their poison, sometimes even both.
the most disposable “rapper” in the history of music.
hey bobby, what’s a seven letter word for human excrement?

“flo rida.”