Fond du Lac
the town of fond du lac, wi, is midsized at about 42,000 residents. located at the southern tip of lake winnebago, the city is midway between green bay and milwaukee in the fox river valley.
its name french for “foot of the lake,” fond du lac might be better described as “armpit of the midwest.” the modest, weathered lighthouse (which serves also as the town’s symbol) at the town’s lakeside park stands as a metaphor for the time-worn, antiquated value system that largely drives fond du lac’s people and politics.
the city’s primary news source is the fond du lac reporter, a publication comprising part-time housewives turned reporters and news stories as bland as its readers. with headlines frequently no more intriguing than “it snowed. a lot,” it is no wonder fond du lac’s citizens have taken to entertaining themselves with hearty helpings of bill o’reilly and liver crushing volumes of alcohol.
at the end of the day, fond du lac stands not only as a champion of the mediocre and non-questioning, but also as a haven for rednecks, third rate thugs and nicotine stained bottle blondes. the few acceptions to the fdl rule stand out as brave warriors fighting in a losing battle against crack addled pizza delivery persons, alcoholic schoolteachers and men who choose to wear their no fear t-shirts tucked in, thank you very much.
so for your next vacation, consider fond du lac, wi, where our motto is “hey, at least we’re not sheboygan.”
“where did you get arrested last night?”
“fond du lac.”
the first defintion is the most accurate, except that “fond du lac” is not french for “foot of the lake”, as many people believe; in french it means “bottom of the lake”. people who live there, though, seem not to know, or perhaps don’t care. this further exemplifies the complacency of the town.
tourist guide: “alright, welcome to the sh-tty town of fond du lac–we just call it “fondy”–which is french for foot of the lake.”
random tourist: “actually, it’s bottom of the lake. gimme my money back, this tour sucks already.”
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