football hooligan


english football hooligans’ kit:

chest: england sports shirt or bare beer belly

legs: blue jeans, or optionally tracksuits for the thinner hooligan

left hand: brick. preferably, attached to a string so you can throw it through a shop window and get it back without much fuss.

right hand: either a half-full bottle of carlsberg or a broken bottle of carlsberg.

fingers: fake gold jewellery.

head: skinhead

face: temporary facepaint of saint george’s cross

feet: reebok cl-ssics

pocket: mobile phone to call other football hooligans to arrange fights

mouth: foul language

cranium: a lonely brain cell
en-ger-land’s finest export.
people in a -firm-

wear expensive clothes that appear to be casual and really cheap

regularly meet other football hooligans for fights before/after a match while p-ssed out of their face

hull city psychos – the firm in hull – appear at every home and away game hoping for a fight

stretford end – location for all uniteds football hooligans

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