fort myers beach

best place ever. huge beach with hot skimboarders, pier, cool -ss stores, and just an awesome place to chill.
“where should we smoke this huge f-ckin blunt?”
“fort myers beach! ya digggg?”
😉
a beach and resort located in south west florida.

a hot spot for europeans, snowbirds, tourists of all kind and unexperienced and underaged spring breakers to get drunk and pregnant for the first time!

~sightings you will witness at fort myers beach:

tourists in visors and socks and sandals,

rich snotty kids on vacation,

at least 1 morbidly obese man every half hour with no shirt on,

the ‘leather couch’ skinned, squinty eyed local who works and lives/drinks/eats/sleeps there all day. every day.

at least one loud, obnoxious family of 5 on their one week vacation from nj or ny,

a man with a honking, tinkling push cart with a palm tree attached hawking ice cream and coconut water in a can,

beach b-ms h-tting on ladies on vacation,

beligerently intoxicated groups of men,

oldies dressed to impress drinking at the bar

frat boys with popped collars picking fights with each other
“hey man, i have tomorrow off from work! lets get fuuuugged up at fort myers beach tonight!”

“i love being hit on by botoxed out cougars at the bar while im hanging at fort myers beach”
a place where fort myers locals (usually young people and elderly) come to meander about with friends and family. that is, until the snowbirds come and crowd it uppppp. most people hang around the lani kai and drink, hang around the pier and skim, or walk around times square & shop, or just chill down at the sh-r-. tight place, till the tourists flock.
“fort myers beach is awesome!”
“yeah, until old people from ohio and maine come down with their horrible driving skills and crowd it up.”