Fowler

fowler’s percentage: 70 – 75%
bit more than a semi, but not quite fully erect.
i was sporting a fowler when i saw her!
fowler is the act of finding out a girl/guy is engaged, and doing everything in your power to hook up with him/her once last time.
“dude, my ex just got engaged. she’s getting married next year”
“dude, you have 6 months to pull a fowler. no problem.”
one that displays highly pretentious, demeaning and abusive behaviors when interacting with people they believe are inferior. a fowler will talk ad nauseum about their mensa-esque iq but exhibit catastrophically low social skills, even on tv or in front of their own children. a fowler is so odious that they offend multiple people or cultures simultaneously. a fowler may be accompanied by a life partner who is gratuitously enabling and oblivious secondary to cerebral damage incurred by new age holistic posturing. reference: stephen fowler, wife swap episode.
“what a fowler! he just lost his board seat because he was such a douche on tv!”
a fowler is something/someone who has a penchant for extreme bukake. this can either be watching, performing or having it performed on them
wow that guys a real fowler
a fowler can be found lurking in the shadows near any young woman, particularly blondes. it will use all it’s charm and charisma in an extravogant dance to entice aforementioned young women into it’s lair where the intent would be to perform an ancient mating ritual. the reality however is that once close to the prey, the fowler will turn a brilliant shade of red and retract from the situation. the fowler will then return to it’s lair alone, and take up residence on the seat facing his desk with “red tube” on his computer screen.
girl 1: “did you see that guy checking you out?”
girl 2: “yeah but he looks like a total fowler!”
a person who sets snares and lies in wait for prey. derived from the word “fowl”, common prey for trappers in old times. the word also gained popularity in the years of early modern english (shakespheare, the king james version of the bible) as a symbolic term for a person who maliciously uses deception to ensnare or trap others.
surely, he will deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

now that fowler is defined, you are probably wondering what “noisome” means. to be continued.
sh-tty -ss little town on the prairie in indiana that is a nice place to have in your rear-view mirror at 17. more specifically, county seat of benton county, indiana, with 2,272 people (us census 2006 estimate, which is down 6% from 2000 and about 15% from when i lived there) – 98.1% of whom are white, 30% of whom are of german ancestry, 13% irish, 9% french/quebecois/e, and 7% english. none of this makes them bad people, of course, but it gives you a flavor of the place. it’s at lat 40.6’n 87.32w. sh-tty climate – brutally hot in the summer (though the pool’s just been redone, i guess, so that’s something) and brutally cold in the winter “with nothing to stop the wind between here and wichita except a barbed wire fence, and it blew over.” it’s flat here. flat. billiard table flat – flatter than the billiard table as i remember it at the old uptown bar, in fact. no new houses were built there in 2002, ’03, or ’06, but they did have one in ’04 and 2 in ’05. if you’re straight, white, republican and have relatives in the cemetary, it doesn’t hurt. good town to drink in – beer is cheap and the locals, some of whom are admittedly a little under-groomed and over-fed, are nice enough. those aren’t southern accents, they are country accents that you are hearing – warsh and mayshure (measure) and idn’t it/wadn’t it and supposably. go to the 100 mile house for lunch (buc and mason’s is long gone, as is furr’s home market and the grab-it-here), and stop by at paddy’s on 52, which has been resurrected by a hot former lifeguard… although they could all be gone, it’s been a little while.
i mean, nice peeps and all but dang is it nice to only need to go fowler indiana every decade.